Funny Awful Raw Tacky Scandals
Past, Present or planned for the Future, yours or someone elses, here's an invitation to let'em rip__. Don't hold them back, release your stinky little secret to cyber-space where they can grow and gain popularity. Was it a joke or my personal favorite.,,Revenge? A dare, promise kept or an accident? Was it embarrasing to someone, shameful or humiliating? Was it illegal, immoral, wicked and corrupt. Did you get caught or are you proclaiming innocense? Will your FARTS be the grossest ever? Will it ride the wind around the planet?FARTS. Own'em! Stop blaming the dog!Take your place with the devious, pay-back masters, jokesters, slightly insane and the eternally pissed off!
Examples I've collected in my very busy and twisted little mind:
here's my FARTS:
ReplyDeleteat the time i lived in a town of 20,000 and worked at the only decent restaurant. it was popular with the people who had money. when I clocked in for my shift I saw that my hours had been cut down to ten per week. i was mad enought to killm but not brave enough, so I sat on a 10 gallong pickle jar and took a big dump. It blended in perfectly.
Submitted by
Jim A.
Colorado
As a new cop I was proud of my uniform. Each time I entered a public place it seemed all heads turned to look in my direction. I opened the door to a packed restaurant to meet with other officers representing various agencies. I stood tall and proud, hesitating in my moment of glory as they all looked me over. Just then my gun belt un-snapped and fell to the foor. The room was instantly histerical as my bullets bounced across the floor. Scrambling to retrieve them I was grateful to see someone else scooping them up as well. I looked into the amused face of my captain. I served my community for 25 years and never outlived the incident.
ReplyDeleteRetired and Relieved
Sgt - County Sheriff's Dept.
Hey EagleEye! Here's another ~
ReplyDeleteLove ya Birdie - TalkerCat
My brother's hobby is restoring antique vehicles to their original condition and selling them to collectors. Sometimes the selling process involves transporting the car or truck to regional shows. On one occasion he drove 400 miles to a major show pulling a custom made trailer with his "gangster" type car on board. Because he was late, the premo spaces were already occupied.... He took one of the less desirable sposts, located in the last row, with and open "field" behind it. As he positioned his car he noticed judges were already walking among the displays. He was frantically looking for a heavy object to put behind the rear wheels to prevent rolling backward when he took another look at the "field". He noticed a number of large, flat stones and decided one or two of them would be perfect. He quickly picked up one then went back for another - noticing the onlookers staring in horror. A security guard approached and questioned his actions. My brother explained, then asked why he was being stared at. The guard said "it's not every day we see someone uprooting grave markers". Mortified, my brother apologized and said he'd put them back. The "good old boy" guard said "You might as well use them now, since you went to all that trouble".
Later my brother discovered the cemetary was a 100-year old historical landmark.
Oh! Brother!
Washington
Hey Birdie! For your twistedness here's my own little story of revenge! Don'tch just love it?!?
ReplyDeleteHELL HATH NO FURY .....
The day I overheard my now ex-husband having phone sex I went to his room screaming "what in hell are you doing?" He hung up abruptly, totally busted. So angry I couldn't breathe I picked up an ashtray and smacked him upside his head! I then asked who'd called whom and he admitted to initiating the call; so I simply hit 'redial'. She answered. "Hello" I asked, "Who's this?" "I'm Fawn" she said. I told her I was Dan's wife and asked if she knew he was married? "Sure ... who cares? At least he's not cheating on me!" She hung up before I could respond. I used 'redial' again and the stupid broad answered. "Stay away from my husband!" I yelled and then ... she said 'it' ...
the ULTIMATE fighting word ---
"You CUNT! Don't call me again!"
As the day passed my anger grew into a hot ball of vomit. I decided to snoop - what else was he up to? I found his address book and there it was! Fawn's address and phone number ... An idea came from nowhere. It just so happened I was menstruating.
A short time later little Miss Fawn received an anonymous package. Inside a note read: "From one CUNT to ANOTHER!" It was attached to a well-used tampon!
Meow!